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[This Is Happening] Your Sexy Worlds Collide – Daniel Radcliffe Will Host SNL w/ Pouty Lana Del Rey in January

My dude has arrived ya’ll. Fresh off of being named one of Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainers of the Year, BB Doe Eyed D Dubs has landed himself an SNL hosting gig next month after he’s done with his run on Broadway Jan 1st. This is a jump off to promotion for his new film The Woman In Black, due out on February 3rd.

If you don’t know what The Woman In Black is by now, go here and learn something.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for seeing D Dubs realize his comedic potential. He’s only had a couple of run-ins with comedy (that I know of) in the past. One of my favorites was his episode of Ricky Gervais‘ HBO series Extras from 2006 in which he played a trumped up version of himself at age 16. More recently, during the promotion for the Deathly Hallows last year, he did a Funny Or Die sketch in which he made even more fun of himself as a delusional actor (video below). There were also some rumors of a project with Seth Rogen at one point, but Rogen tamed those down by explaining that D Dubs wasn’t willing to go as far they’d wanted him to go. I assume that has something to do with not wanting to offend his younger fans (or rather the rabid parents of his younger fans).

[WATCH] Daniel Radcliffe “I Am Harry Potter” A Censored Interview by Funny or Die

That could be a problem for Daniel and the writers over at SNL. They have to seriously bring the funny on this one without pushing the envelope too far over his comfort level. The end result might be more awkward and boring than funny. While D Dubs has shown that he is not afraid to make fun of himself, you have to wonder if he has the timing or natural charm of a Justin Timberlake? Not sure, though I’m sure he’ll do a decent job at any rate. The man has proven himself to be a reliable work horse game for anything, especially a good laugh at his own expense.

All that to say this: I rarely ever watch Saturday Night Live these days, with the exception of an occasional Hulu clip if I’ve missed something awesome. But you’d better believe I’m setting my DVR well in advance for this one because D Dubs is one of my White Boys and I live to see him succeed.

Now that we’ve gotten over that bit, let’s talk about the con that’s a pro but that’s really a con for us ladies. What upsets me about this is the fact that he will be sharing the bill with musical guest Lana.motherfucking.Del Rey. That’s right, Melancholy Lips her damn self. The sensual, faux indie sensation will be breathlessly intoning her way through two of her three hit singles (most likely “Video Games” and “Born To Die”) in some skimpy number in the same small vicinity as D Dubs! All that rehearsal time they will share! The promos they will shoot! Goddamnit Jesus hates me. I mean … um, what I’m saying is …

If I were his cute little girlfriend, I’d have my ass at NBC studios everyday he was there watching like a fucking hawk to make sure Pouty Del Rey kept her smoky eyes off my boo.

Not that Del Rey has any romantic interest in whoever his name is. She has a gig on a popular show on national television with one of the biggest stars in the world. Teenage girls will either hate her fucking guts, or love her sparkly ass cheeks from this moment on. I predict her album, Born 2 Die, which is also due out in January, will be a hit. SNL has been known to break an indie artist or two. Not that this bitch needs breaking.

On the flip side, if I were Doe Eyed Radcliffe, I’d be gagging at the sight of her and instantly fall in faux love. That’s what every other non-gay male in the blogosphere has been doing obsessively of late. Or hell, the gays too. They love her pop-sucking lips, all. As do I, if you couldn’t tell. Seriously, I’m borderline obsessed.

Yes. This entire post was a panicked dwelling on what will not happen when two sexy worlds of music and film collide on January 14th 2012 as tiny little D Dubs hosts Saturday Night Live with sad-faced ghetto bombshell Lana Del Rey. Mark your calenders children. BOOM.